I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
It's shark week go big or go home
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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