did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
