Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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