There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
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I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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