Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
