I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
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trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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