tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
