Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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