i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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