No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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