I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
