it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Randomize
