She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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