I pooped in a mop bucket.
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.