i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?