yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great