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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.

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• (713): View more from Texas

  Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?

  (1-617): View more from Massachusetts

  Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major

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• (641): View more from Iowa

  Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.

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• (315): View more from New York

  he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?

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