Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Sex with a fat chick.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.