So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
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my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
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No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.