I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.