Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
