I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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