Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
