it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
