Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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