I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
