So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
