It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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