she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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