My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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