his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
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