woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Randomize
