Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
