I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
