his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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