I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
