We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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