It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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