remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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