I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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