Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
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