Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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