He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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