there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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