Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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