Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
