I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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