If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
