wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Randomize
