So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
sex in a hospital.. check
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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