At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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