Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
