I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
