Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
They are going to name an STD after you.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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