you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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