We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
