I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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