Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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