I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
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I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
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I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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