My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
